ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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