you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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