This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize