Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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