I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize