I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize