Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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