Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize