stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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