Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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