turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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