He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
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Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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