Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize