i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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