I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
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