I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
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Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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