All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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