How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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