My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize