Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize