Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize