she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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