You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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