Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize