I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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