How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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