I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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