I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize