I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
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why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
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Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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