Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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