I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize