my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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