We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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