phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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