I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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