And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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