On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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