do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I have so many feelings about this burrito
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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