drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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