go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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