I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize