she was so not down for the gang bang
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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