Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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