I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize