it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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