I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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