Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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