Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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