How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize