i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize